Do You Try? Just Try.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore I do not run like a man running aimlessly; I do not fight like a man beating the air. No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.

I Corinthians 9:24-27

 TRIathlons.  Swim.  Bike.  Run.  All three require endurance and perseverance in order to win the prize. 

Training is imperative for one to be successful in a TRIathon.  If I am not willing to put the time and effort into training, I will NOT see the results I am capable of achieving.  My body will remain the same.

In comparison to training for a triathlon, I must also train and put forth the time and effort into receiving a personal relationship with Jesus.   If I do not put the time and effort into training my heart to truly know Jesus, I will never grow spiritually.  My heart will remain the same. 

Try. Try. Try. I declare to never be idle or indifferent, and never allow my life to pass me by because of my fears.  I will always TRY to put God first. I will TRY to take care of myself physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

I need physical and spiritual endurance to finish the race in all aspects of my life. In ALL that I do, it is my desire to help others reach their goal.  The goal being to reach and accept the prize, which is the crown of salvation and our blessed assurance to meet our Coach "face to face" one day.   

I continuously look up to my Abba for guidance, because I trust His plan for my life.  I know He had my life planned out before earth even began.  The Word says, "For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." Ephesians 2:10.  God had my training schedule and workout plan already in place.

Training for a triathlon is a healthy reshaping of my body, however, most of the time it hurts.  Most of the time it is painful. My physical endurance will increase with working out, while my spiritual endurance will increase when I allow Jesus to remold me, even as painful as it may be at first.

 I would rather endure the pain of discipline rather than the pain of regret.

I may not fathom everything I have gone through when training here on earth, but I am confident He allows me to go through trials and tribulations to increase my endurance, perseverance, and hope in order to help others do the same.


I am in awe of how Jesus loves me just as I am, but even more, because He doesn't allow me to stay just as I am. He pushes me to live a life woven with integrity. Living a life with integrity is challenging when satan loves to attack me or play pretty little tricks on me. And many times I fall for satan's lies.

However, the Word says, "Therefore submit yourself to God. Resist the devil and he will FLEE from you." (James 4:7)  The more I submit to God, the more satan has to leave me alone. Falling for satan's lies then become less and less frequent when I fall more in love with Jesus. Falling in love with Jesus is the best thing I have ever Tried.


Until I meet Jesus, I will forever TRY to demonstrate by gratitude and become more like Christ. I will worship Him. Praise Him. Love Him. Trust Him. Study His Love.  I look forward to making Him proud and receiving a congratulatory high-five and a hug when my time here is done.



Application:
What hinders your from trying to have a personal relationship with Jesus?
What is ONE goal you can make for the next 30 days?

Memorize Power Verse:
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.~Galatians 6:9

Kayleigh is saved.

Follow @holmes_krystal

https://twitter.com/holmes_krystal

Psalm 25

<3 me, Krystal Leigh

Your Great Name, Jesus.

My Abba. My Bridegroom. My Comforter. My Counselor. My Deliverer. My Faithful Truth. My Guide. My Hope. My Leader. My Advocate. My Living Water. My Love. My Mediator. My Prince of Peace. My Refiner's Fire. My Teacher. My Source. My True Light. My Author of my Life. My Bread of Life. My Bright Morning Star.

My Advocate.

My little children, I am writing these things to you so you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the rightous. 1 John 2:1.

Mighty Malachi's Message

Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.~Corey Ford

I have been wanting to find a place to volunteer Malachi as a therapy dog. This has been laid upon my heart for many months. We plan on going to our training later this month. I have decided to go through Delta Society. I am excited to find, yet another way to witness how Christ is living in me by dedicating my time, not only to an animal, but allowing Malachi to bring comfort to people who are hurting.

We adopted "Elmo", now Malachi, as a puppy from Doberman Rescue of North Texas in September 2009. I appreciated the process of the program choosing me, rather than me choosing Malachi. They required an application and Sunday visits to ensure that we were the best match for Malachi.

Malachi, being a Doberman, sometimes receives a bad reputation. Watch the media and children's movies. Which dog is on the bad side usually? Which was ironic to see in "Beverly Hills Chihuahua", because we also have a Chihuahua,Smarshmellow, that runs the house.

Being the parent of a small child and owning a small dog, it was important to find the right Doberman with the right personality.

Malachi is a gentle dog that only wants to cuddle with everyone. Even his little big Chihuahua sister. He is an intelligent and obedient dog that catches on to new tricks all of the time. His recall is phenomenal and we never have to worry about him leaving our side. He does have a watchful eye, as he protects his family, but he is loving to all.

I am blessed to call Mallie mine.

Click on the following links for helpful resources

Doberman Rescue of North Texas

Delta Society

Doberman Information

Real Talk

My students were in awe when I used the term "real talk", which was a time when I was wanting to really get down to the truth of a matter. Real talk. This is the talk where respect is maintained, but nothing is sugar coated or danced around. It is real.

And this is how I talk to to God. Sometimes there is nothing beautiful about what I say. Sometimes I beg. Sometimes I am angry. Sometimes I yell. Sometimes I cry.

But it is in my brokenness, that God still knows my heart.

When I am broken, I will cry out to God, and in all of my imperfections, I will still give Him the glory.

No matter what happens to me, I will cry out "Hallelujah!!"

Daring To Dream Motivates Me To Move

I teach Leadership. And one of the concepts I teach my students is about gifts and talents. God gives each and every one of us different gifts. In order to pursue a dream, one must have the gift to do so in the first place.


It is a scary to think about the dream, I feel, God has placed inside of my heart and utilize my gift to "arise and be all that I dreamed." I feel God is leading me to sing in the church. I feel through my gift that God has given me, God will be able to move people towards Him. And I feel this is true for everyone. Everyone has different gifts.

Being that I am fearful of singing in front of a crowd, I cannot fathom God wanting me to sing in front a big group of people. So, being that I cannot fathom this, or understand it, I try to reason with God.


How in the world will I do such a thing? And who is to say I'm really THAT good or inspirational? Is this God speaking or is this all inside of my head? And seriously. Seriously? Seriously! However...



My faith IS growing. And people can SEE my growth. But I still question things I don't understand or know.



I DO know, everything has led me to this point. Everything had to happen this way so I could be led right here and right to this moment.




It is in the moments when I am on my 1 1/2 drive into work, that I sometimes hear the song "Arise" by Flyleaf. It truely motivates me to move from my comfortable expectations to higher expectations that will glorify God.








This song not only inspires us to be all that we dreamed, but to leave behind all of our fears and allow Christ to eliminate the demons in our heads. Eliminating the demons and fears will allow us to boldly follow Christ and become all that we have dreamed.




The "pages in the Book" could be the Bibical account of a man, who was possessed by demons, crosses paths with Jesus. As Jesus is about to cast the demons out of the man, the demons beg Jesus to cast them into the swine they see nearby. Even the demons acknowledge the power of God and beg for his mercy. The swine, then filled with the demon spirits, run into the water and drown. Instead of the people being gracious that the demons had been cast away from this man, they were angry because of losing a herd of swine, which was thier income.




Even after we are rescued, we still want what was left behind. We battle between our old and new self. Am I ready to let go of materialistic or earthly things to follow Christ? To follow HIS dream and plan for my life? Or will I allow the battles and the demons behind the battles to defeat me?




The battles can make us weary. And we want to hear songs about the end of the world because it is only then, the "hammer and needles for You" will end. The suffering will end. We believe, and "there is hope left in us yet" that Christ WILL return again. And it is this HOPE that allows us to endure the suffering. So as a Believer, it is my obligation to "arise and be all that I dreamed", because it is through me and my gifts that God will tell people, "Stand in the sun, we'll dry your eyes. Hold on to the world we are fighting for, there is hope left in us yet. Arise and be all that you dreamed."

I can only be all that I am supposed to be by allowing God to save me from myself. We have to let go of our demons and fears. Let them go. Let them rest in swine. If we don't allow God to rescue us, we will miss oppurtunities to utilize our inner gifts.


This will take Time. This will take courage. Strength. Faith. It is scary to leave behind what we know to be comfortable expectations for ourselves.


This also reminds me of the Biblical account of the man lying on his mat because he was paralyzed. It is frightning to think if he hadn't risen to walk when Jesus told him to, he would have never known what he was capable of doing for Christ.



Change is scary. But NOT changing is paralyzing.


So I arise. I am becoming all that I dreamed.

Reference:

Luke 8:33~Then the demons came out of the man and into the pigs, and the herd rushed down the steep bank into the lake and drowned.




Mark 5:11-14




Matthew 8:28-32




Mark 3:11

BE a lighthouse by shining the radiance of God FOR the ocean of LOST SOULS.

Kayleigh is an avid Kasey Kahne fan!He is the one that saves ... on Twitpic

Kayleigh is an avid Kasey Kahne fan! He is the one that saves ... on Twitpic

Be Still

As much as I love to analyze stories and songs, sometimes my mind OVER analyzes situations. I sometimes make things more difficult than they have to be. I listen to these lyrics as if it is what God would say to me when I am in the midst of chaos and on the brink of giving up.

"Even our painful realizations of sinfulness are to mortify us into new life." ~Beth Moore

I have heard "What do I know of Holy" by Addison Road many times before and I can never sing it without crying. I read the lyrics today and it is amazing how the words have paralleled my faith.

"I made You promises a thousand times
I tried to hear from Heaven
But I talked the whole time
I think I made You too small
I never feared You at all"

The lyrics above burn in my mind a recent and very important, very intense conversation about God. The conversation was with someone I have loved, continue to love, and will always love.

The conversation was about God and Christians being hypocrites. Of me being a hypocrite. Of me being a sinner. And this was just a snapshot of all the opportunities I passed up by not living out my beliefs.

I have known WHAT I wanted my faith to look like. However, I didn't know HOW to surrender. Instead of surrendering, I medicated my fear with unholy things and thoughts. I couldn't handle my fears. Fear of not being loved. Fear of not being good enough. Fear of being abandoned. And the Holy Spirit as been at war with my flesh and with Satan for many years. Satan, who is the power of darkness and father of lies. I have been unholy.

I did not feel the weight of this truth about myself until yesterday and it has caused me unbearable pain. The unbearable pain of knowing I haven't always been a good witness. It has brought me down to my knees in shame.

The more I know Him, the more I surrender, the more I let go of my violent and self destructing fear, the more I am able to draw close to Him. I am able to draw close enough to see myself, and sometimes that is more than one would want to see. It takes courage. It takes courage to look at yourself. It takes courage to be helpless. Defenseless. When life has trained you to be the opposite. Defensive. Intimidating. But that isn't who I am meant to be.

So, what do I know of holy? What do I know of wounds that will heal my shame?

"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:8-9

"For everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. Who is it that overcomes the world? Only he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God." 1 John 5:4-5

I know the truth. My unholiness has caused me to surrender and begin the holiness of God in me. God has already saved me. I have accepted His gift of salvation. I accept His mercy and grace. I will strive to be more like Him everyday because I believe. I believe Jesus died for my sins.

Jesus answered, " I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." John 14:6

Please forgive me for not always shining His light through my actions and in my words. I am set free. I will shine this little light of mine. :)

Know although people make mistakes, God does not. He is infinite in wisdom and far above our understanding. Everything has, does, and will continue to work according to His plan.

The following is a great article on hypocrisy in the Church.

http://www.gotquestions.org/Christians-hypocrites.html

I did not have strength today. Tomorrow will be a new day. More on Hurricanes with Heather. :)

Heather's Hurricanes and Healing

Why? Why? Why?

Why? The one word I will never have all the answers to because some things will never be known here on this earth. And honestly, this frustrates me so much sometimes. I am frustrated not only when I suffer heartaches, but I am also deeply saddened when my beloved friends and family suffer.

Heather and Jeremy.

Heather and Jeremy are probably one of THE funniest, most down to earth couples, I have ever known. Heather is the heart. Jeremy is the solution. Jeremy is her rock. Heather is his number one fan. Jeremy is the "Heather, go and get the "No Dogs Allowed Sign out of their yard." Heather is the "Fine, since I adore you, I will do it." Jeremy is the "Hahaha, I am going to drive off while you are running with the sign in your hand" They are hilarious. They complement each other. They are considerate. They are love.

And they suffer. They suffer together. And like many people, they suffer from the effects of one hurricane after another. They keep coming. One. Then two. Then three. Then four. When is enough enough?

Heather texted me to tell me how, once again, our lives seem to be the same when it comes to trials and tribulations because when it rains it POURS. She told me she was hit by a hurricane while trying desperately to help both her and Jeremy's side of the family with heart wrenching difficulties.

I took the hurricane part literally, and flipped on the weather channel and started texting people in the area to make sure they were ok during the "hurricane", which Heather later politely corrected me in that the hurricane was metaphorically speaking. The hurricane only hit HER house. Being an English teacher, I should have picked up on THAT one. It really does describe her situation though. Heather's hurricane season.

Heather has disclosed to me many things that have happened to her during her childhood and into her adulthood. We really bonded in the similarities of our dysfunctional stories. Stories of people bringing evil into our innocent lives and tainting our child like faith. Satan, the father of lies, would try to rob us of our freedom in Christ. But as she grew older, she would grow to lean on her earthly fathers. However, even that would be taken from her.

In July 2009, Heather lost a man in her life that showed her love and compassion. He took her in and she became his daughter. This man was Jeremy's father. This past July, Heather then unexpectedly lost her own father, whom she loved dearly while she admired his love for his grandchildren. Her love for both of her fathers gave her the courage and the strength to speak at both of their funerals. And then at the same time, Jeremy and Heather both fought to keep their grandmothers healthy and alive.

Why? Why does this happen? Why so much at one time? Why do good things have to happen to such wonderful people? Why can't You just give them a break?

And then I wonder, why do they seem to experience the same heartaches at the same exact time? Will this somehow bring Jeremy and Heather closer in that they are suffering the same heartaches? I pray they will see how this will help each other in understanding the loss of their beloved fathers. Lean into each other. Lean into God.

And then even as I advise them to lean into God, I wonder how can we lean into You? How can I lean into You when I feel this could have been prevented from happening? Why would God allow bad things to happen to me? To Heather? To all who love You so much? Why would God create us only for us all to hurt and suffer? Because I am hurting. Heather is hurting. So many of us are hurting.

And as a parent, if I KNEW my beloved Kayleigh would be tragically hurt in any way, whom I would trade my comfort for her pain in a heartbeat, whom I would die for, would I even allow her to be brought into this world? Why would God allow me to be brought into this world?

I realize, I am a child of God. God is my father. And I seek his face for healing and answers. Why? Why would You allow us to be brought into this world to suffer so many heartaches? So many storms, one after another. What do you want from me?

And then a SPECIFIC REVELATION is gently and patiently revealed to me once again.

GOD IS LOVE. GOD IS GOOD.

God doesn't choose to love. God IS Love. God doesn't choose to be good. God IS good. Anything and anyone else that is void of love and goodness is void of God. And that is something we cannot control. We cannot control life. Life happens. And it happens to us all.

When life happens, and it always does, we want answers. And sometimes we will get the answers quickly and sometimes it will come to us slowly. And sometimes the answers are already there but we refuse to accept what God is telling us to be true. We sometimes refuse to believe the truth, even when it is staring us right in the face.

We cannot possibly know all of the answers at all times and that is where my FAITH must fill in the gaps. Be patient with me as I have been on both sides of the "faith" answer. I have heard it many times too and I still think sometimes....FAITH!? How can I possibly have faith at a time like THIS? I want answers!

First of all,what EXACTLY is faith?

Faith is the "confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing" and does "not rest on logical proof or material evidence."

Which is ironic because my faith is based on answers that are logical to me because of material evidence of the TRUTH. However, the truth cannot always be revealed to us right when we want it. Sometimes we are not ready.

Just as Kayleigh is not mature enough to know EVERYTHING, I must shield her from things she is not ready to HEAR or SEE. It is the same for us, as children of God, we must be still and wait for HIS timing. And that for me, is the MOST difficult part of faith. I want it NOW, NOW, NOW!

And just because I want it NOW and don't get it NOW, doesn't make the TRUTH invalid.

NOW isn't always God's best. And the truth is, like Heather and Jeremy and myself, we will have to go through life's obstacles and wonder why. But we have each other to guide us through the hurricanes. And after a hurricane is always a rainbow. A rainbow to prove God's promise to us all. The promise to never forsake us. And I have FAITH in this TRUTH.

My FAITH may waiver as I am flawed. But as I grow to become closer to God, my faith becomes stronger. And my faith stems from my belief and knowledge that God speaks to me. He speaks to me through His Word, through what people say, or maybe in a song, or in my mind. I know in my heart, and I BELIEVE God has the perfect plan for our lives.

We have to have faith and surrender OUR plans and have FAITH in God's plan, which is what is BEST. I will have to remember that when we make our own choices to follow our own plans without seeking God, we create our own hurricanes. And thus, we all create hard life lessons sometimes, which is not because of God, but because of our lack of obedience.

But sometimes our lives are caught in a hurricane because our focus needs to be on God. He wants to make us grow and become the man or woman He knows we can be. He knows what is in our hearts. And He is the only one to know our truth.

And even for people that do not believe, He will try to gain their attention, but sometimes people harden their hearts and no longer hear what God is trying to say.

And sometimes what God is trying to say may take place in a hurricane. And then another hurricane. And then another. However, all good and bad things will serve the purpose of God.

So in effect, our circumstances do not determine whether God IS Love or whether God IS good. This truth will never change. God will never change. But our circumstances will always change. And sometimes it will change in a storm. When we can praise God, even during our hurricanes, the enemy is defeated. The enemy is defeated by Heather. By others. By me.

AND as for me, and as a child of God, I say, let it rain. I will see the light. I will enjoy the rainbow.

Answers To Your Questions

Please. Please. Please. Go to this site. Absolutely amazing! Thank you Dr. A for suggesting it!

http://www.gotquestions.org/

Death To Self and Living In Christ

"Or don't you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? We were therefor buried with Him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life." Romans 6:3-4.

The action of being immersed in the water illustrated dying and being buried with Christ. The action of coming out of the water pictures Christ's resurrection.

I was baptized when I was five, however I feel now, being 29, I fully understand the principles I am striving to live by, and the daily commitment it will take to grow and become more like Christ.

I am passionate about many things. And sometimes too passionate and I need to simmer down. However, the one flame I can never let burn out, is the passion to witness the love of God.

Of course, I am learning how to speak the truth through kind words and patience. There needs to be a balance.

But I will be bold. Everything I do and say is my witness. And I begin by sharing with the world my new life in Christ.

I love to analyze songs and find different meanings and different perspectives.

I was listening to this song as I was driving back with my Momma tonight, as we were both really in uncomfortable pain. Mine being from my surgery, in which I truly feel as though I have been in a car wreck, and my Momma, well let's just say her tummy was hurting really bad. So this song was fitting because of all that we are going through, but it's gonna be alright!!

Matt Maher explains his prayers and thoughts behind "Hold Us Together". He came up with the idea of his song when he was on a flight to Nashville. People started talking about how they were nervous about the economy, fearful of losing their homes and all they had worked for all these years. And he thought to himself, "How can the Church respond to those people and what does the Church say when when one is at the end of their rope and how does the Church present the love of God?"

We all desperately need the love of God. However, people place value and worth on tangible things. Material things. External things. Money. House. Car. Job. Yet, what determines the worth of God is the Church. There is value and tangible evidence of God's love when the Church is LIVING OUT the love of God by showing how it has been saved BY the love of God. The Church extends this mercy and love by being a "brother's keeper" to the broken, to the poor, to the weary, to the lost. Because Love is what "holds us together". Things do not. Things will fade. Things will disappear. Love? Love will remain.

My Best Teaching Method: Model The Lesson

The following is a journal entry of one of my days of prayer.

Praise.

Thank you Lord for another day. Thank your for my added Leadership class. Thank you for the beautiful clouds on the way to Sonja's house. Time with her. Fellowship with You. My Baptism!! Kayleigh Lynn!

Repent.

Please forgive me for thinking judgmental thoughts.

"And why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye, but do not percieve the plank in your own eye." Luke6:41

Look with spiritual eyes and the glory that is to be revealed in a person. Pray they will be saved. Remember, He is not finished with me yet either. Intercede for others. I will grow to feel compassion and concern for them. List good things about other people. I will trust You with things unseen. I leave it to You. Remember, according to Romans 12:5 and 1 Corinthians 12:7, we are all given different gifts and complement each other. Find the ways in which a person complements me.

Please forgive me for my unkind tone when speaking to others.

"Be wise in the way you act with people who are not believers, making the most of every opportunity. When you talk, you should always be kind and pleasant so you will be able to answer to everyone in the way you should." Colossians 4:5-6

Be an example to believers and unbelievers with my words, actions, faith, and pure life. When unbelievers see the love of Jesus living and shining through me, they will not have to be convinced to believe. They will see the Light.

Ask.

Provide guidance for my best friend and my family. Please provide guidance for the women at the conference. I pray You will stir emotions in the ones who do not believe. Let them look up. God, please help me to stay strong emotionally and physically. Help me feel loved. I no longer want to feel rejected. I no longer want to worry about what I could have done or what I should have said in my life. Please take the guilt of not being good enough.

"God will strengthen you with His own great power so that you will not give up when trouble comes, but you will be patient." Colossians 1:11

"Give worries to the Lord and He will take care of you. He will NEVER let good people down." Psalm 55:22

"Even when you are old, I will be the SAME. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you. I made YOU and I will take care of you. I will CARRY you and SAVE you." Isaiah 46:4

Yield.

Utilize last name, Holmes, in all aspects of my life. Take advantage of time being single. Give up ELA conference period to teach another Leadership class. Use spiritual gift of singing. Audition!

FYI.

I look up Scriptures based on the TOPIC I am concerned about. Also, gotquestions.org is a great resource for questions you may have about Christianity. I enjoy reading this site because it is based on Scripture. The Word. God's Living Word.

And that's my take, and that's a wrap!

Four Letter Word....PRAY

Praying has always intimidated me. Especially in front of others. How do they know how to speak so eloquently and how do they know what to say?

I am learning that the more I know God, and the more I utilize the Holy Spirit that is indwelling in me, the words will come to me when I am praying for others, and in front of others. I am allowing myself to be uncomfortable so praying will become more comfortable for me.

As for my personal time and prayers, depending on my mood, and lately there have been many in one day, I just simply talk to God. And to be quite honest, I will not disclose EVERYTHING I have said because it hasn't always been pretty. Once again, I will thank God for mercy and grace.

What I will disclose is some things I learned about praying through reading, conferences, or other Christian women. And that is the acronym for PRAY.

Praise. Repent. Ask. Yield.

Praise. Before saying anything, we should thank God for what He has given us. From the beautiful sky on the way to Church, to what He is doing in our lives, we should express gratitude. Give Him thanks.

Repent. First, ask God to forgive us for our sins. And we can't just say, "Please God forgive me for thinking that woman is completely wretched and a waste of space." We need to get out of that habit. So then, we need to find Scriptures that speak to us about the sin we are committing and why it contradicts with what God wants us to do. And remember our behaviors are a reflection of our thoughts. And then lastly, forgive yourself and allow yourself to move on.

Ask. After we have given thanks to God and have repented of our sins, we can then intercede for others and for their needs. Ask God for the desires of your heart.

Yield. Listen to God and do what He tells us to do. Obey. Expect God to give guidance as we would expect a loving parent to guide us. God wants to give us the healthy directions and food for our soul. We have to be willing to listen and do what He says.

Enjoy purposeful prayers!

God Is Love Even in Our Pain

Many people do not understand how pain can affect someone in all aspects of one's life.

According to Mayo Clinic, "recurring pain can lead to depression, irritability, anger, or a feeling of helplessness."  Many people are suffering today.  And today, right now, they need Love.

I didn't understand the affects of recurring pain until my "endometriosis" took control over me and my body, while I began to deal with chronic pain in my lower left abdomen and left lower back. As the months went by, my pain increased in severity and frequency. Many times I would have to leave in the middle of my class and lie down in the nurses office or just go home. Being a single mom, this proved to be even more daunting in that it made house cleaning, traveling, or simply going out to the park for an hour very difficult. And let's just say my patience level was like the funny quote in my classroom which states, "My patience is hanging by a...whooopsie...there it goes.." :)

I had two CT Scans a couple of years ago to only find that I had eight kidney stones. So, I thought this was the problem, but the pain was persistent and would come and go. Endometriosis was suspected but wasn't taken too seriously by the doctors, as endometriosis can only truly be diagnosed by what I am doing tomorrow. For more information on endometriosis you can click on the following link.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/endometriosis/DS00289

In the last month, after consulting four different doctors, one trip to the ER, CT scan, X-ray with an IV, and a sonogram, five different medications, five pounds less in two weeks (which I didn't mind THAT problem, though my nurse wasn't too happy), I am finally having surgery tomorrow. I had wanted this surgery all along, but they needed me to eliminate all other possibilities first. Probably for insurance purposes.

~Updated
My advice to others, and a reminder to myself, is we need to be patient with our loved ones when they are going through pain. And not just with our loved ones, but with strangers, in that we have NO idea what they are going through. Because while I had to visit numerous doctors and attend work related staff development workshops, I also had to move out of my house due to flooding, and adding salt to wounds, a very significant person in my life rejected his need for me in his life.  So, when we get frustrated with someone, we need to remember the possibility of unseen trials and tribulations that might be consuming them.

I cannot begin to tell you how this experience debilitated me physically.  I tried to take care of others, but I didn't take care of myself.  I hold a lot of hearts and minds in the palm of my hand, in that people look up to me and watch how I handle stress, so I must keep God close to me during these difficult times, so I can practice what I preach. We MUST take care of ourselves so that we can take care of others.

Now of course the MESS became my MESSAGE. Thankfully, my pain eventually went away and my health is normal.  Because of moving, I was able to spend more time with my beloved family.  And rejection was God's protection.  I learned the hard way the importance of taking care of myself, but I am blessed because I am physically and spiritually stronger, which is EXACTLY what God wants for me.  For you.  For us to experience spiritual growth during blessings and trials. I am becoming physically stronger by eating healthier and training for triathlons, which eliminates stress in my mind and in my body.  And spiritually, I am reminded of the need to be patient with others.  I can only maintain patience through love and the love of Jesus.

So, I guess all I am asking is for is you to love me. Love others. Because God is Love. And He loves you.

The Power of Love Moves Us

I’ve been a walking heartache. I’ve made a mess of me. The person that I’ve been lately, ain’t who I wanna be. But you stay here right beside me. Watch as the storm goes through. And I need you.

God gave me you for the ups and downs. God gave me you for the days of doubt. For when I think I’ve lost my way. There are no words here left to say, it’s true. God gave me you.

There’s more here than what were seeing. A divine conspiracy. That you, an angel lovely could somehow fall for me. You’ll always be love’s great martyr. Ill be the flattered fool and I need you.

God gave me you for the ups and downs. God gave me you for the days of doubt. For when I think I’ve lost my way. There are no words here left to say, it’s true. God gave me you.

On my own I’m only Half of what I could be. I can’t do without you. We are stitched together and what love has tethered I pray we never undo.

God gave me you for the ups and downs. God gave me you for the days of doubt. God gave me you for the ups and downs. God gave me you for the days of doubt. For when I think I’ve lost my way. There are no words here left to say, it’s true. God gave me you, gave me you. Gave me you.

I love this song because the lyrics demonstrate the power of love between, not just a husband and wife, but between family and friends.